


Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and the Duke of Edinburgh's expedition.

by imzadinot



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Boys Kissing, Camping, Duke of Edinburgh Award, Fluff, M/M, Normal AU, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 19:29:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imzadinot/pseuds/imzadinot
Summary: Snow was currently protesting that they weren’t lost, not really, and that they hadn’t been going in completely the opposite direction to their campsite. Not that anyone was buying it.





	Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and the Duke of Edinburgh's expedition.

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea belongs to tumblr user pennybunce, who came up with the brilliant idea of a Duke of Edinburgh AU. It doesn't include everything they outlined, but there's tents, fields, miles of walking and kissing. Quite a lot of kissing. 
> 
> As usual, I have no right to the characters, I'm literally just borrowing them to play house.

They were lost.

They were lost and it was all Simon bloody Snow’s fault.

It was. And Baz wasn’t the only one who thought so. Even Bunce, Snow’s sidekick and chief defender, had agreed. They’d been trudging along the same stretch of moorland for an hour, having doubled back on themselves twice and walked half way down the hill only to have to climb back up, and the reason for the mindless wandering was their map reader. Who happened to be shit at reading maps. Who happened to be Simon Snow.

They’d already been walking for six hours, having been dropped off at Edale train station that morning with the instruction to walk to their campsite eleven miles away without getting lost or doing anything that went against the rules of the Duke of Edinburgh’s award scheme. They should have finished the day’s walk ages ago, only Snow had been holding the map upside down when they started and now he thought that they might be somewhere near Tideswell. Wherever the fuck that was.

It would’ve been funny if it weren’t for the fact that the last year of Baz’s life was about to have all been for nothing. For the last year, he, along with the five other people in his group, including Snow, had devoted his free time to completing the activities required as part of the Duke of Edinburgh’s award program. If this expedition went awry, as it so clearly had, they’d have all failed. Which meant that the months Baz had spent volunteering at a guinea pig sanctuary would have been for nothing.

It had occurred to Baz that he was possibly being over dramatic, but he’d spent months giving up his Saturday mornings to cleaning the cages of rodents and carrying bags of used sawdust out to the dumpsters, a task that invariably led to him spilling urine scented shavings all over.

The upside to the expedition, and the only upside there actually was, happened to be that, because they were camping in tents of two, Baz would be sharing a tent with Snow. No matter how disgusted he’d pretended to be when arrangements were made, he was actually glad that Bunce and Trixie and Dev and Niall were sharing as it left him with no option other than to share with Snow, and, whilst he’d protested, claiming that having to share a dorm room with Snow for the rest of the year was punishment enough, he wasn’t any near as upset as he’d let on. Sharing a dorm room, and now a tent, with Snow was likely to be the most he’d ever get, so he’d take it.

Even if spending a night in a tent with Snow meant miles of tramping around a moorland in the middle of February. Even if Snow was a fucking awful map reader and Baz had to be subjected to miles of unnecessary walking. Baz was sure he’d only gotten the job because he was the adopted son of the crackpot lunatic who’d somehow gotten the job of headmaster at their school. It was worth it, though. The dull, grey afternoon only made Snow’s eyes seem bluer. His bronze curls were messier than usual too, hanging over his forehead and sticking up in every direction as a result of the hideous red beanie Snow had worn for the better part of the morning.

Baz wanted to smooth his curls back, yank the map from his hands and push him up against the wooden gate they’d walked through a mile ago, kissing Snow until he’d inevitably come to his senses and push Baz away or punch him or both.

Instead, he kept walking, trudging onwards and making snarky comments, usually about the calibre of Snow’s map reading skills, pissing Snow off more and more until he snapped, dropping the map and turning on Baz, his fists clenched and practically growling. It was only Bunce’s interference that stopped Snow from actually hitting him, though it took Dev and Niall to stop Baz from punching Simon anyway. It wasn’t all too uncommon, he and Snow hitting each other, though they hadn’t really fought for a while. Not since Snow broke up with his girlfriend.

The end of Wellbelove’s role as Simon Snow’s girlfriend had been the only thing that the entire population of Watford School of Excellence, had talked about for weeks. Some had said Agatha had ended things, others thought she’d been seen begging for another chance. It was even rumoured that Baz had caused their break up, luring Agatha away and dating her, though that rumour was complete bullshit. Whilst Baz had flirted with Wellbelove, stealing her away from Snow during dances and generally being as charming as he possibly could be around her, he wasn’t actually interested, let alone dating her. Why would he be?

Wellbelove wasn’t his type. He was gay, for fuck's sake. He was far more interested in her boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, rather. He’d never liked her like that even though it had been pathetically clear that she’d have liked him too. It had always been Snow, from when they were twelve and Simon been bumblingly moronic, until now, when he was still a bumbling moron. It had always been Snow, even if he was an insufferable git half the time.

Like now. Snow was currently protesting that they weren’t lost, not really, and that they hadn’t been going in completely the opposite direction to their campsite. Not that anyone was buying it. They’d been walking all day and they were nowhere near where they were supposed to be. Dev and Niall had joined Baz in making snide comments whilst Trixie had pulled out the iPhone she wasn’t supposed to have brought with her and was on the phone with her girlfriend, talking until she ran out of breath and had to focus on the uphill before going back to complaining to Keris again.

Eventually, with Bunce reading the map (she’d finally gotten Snow to hand it over), they were on the path that would take them the quickest way to their campsite; a long trudge along the main road that was the direct route they’d originally vetoed in favour of enjoying the peak district. It still took them forever to get there, resulting in them walking at least double what they were supposed to have walked for the day, and Baz had never been happier to see some shitty backwoods campsite that was little more than a glorified farmers field.

They were met by the teacher who was supposed to have been overseeing their expedition and, for once, Baz didn’t take the opportunity to complain to Miss Possibelf about Snow and his appalling map reading skills, waiting sullenly for Bunce, Trixie and Snow to be done glossing over the disaster that had been the first leg of the expedition and only sneering when Miss Possibelf glanced over at him, mistakenly expecting him to join the Simon Snow defence squad.

He wasn’t the only one to refuse; Dev and Niall followed his example and rolled their eyes when Bunce glared at them, expecting them to show a little solidarity, and the three of sloped off towards their corner of what turned out to be a particularly grotty field with port-a-loos stood ominously in the corner. Which was brilliant. Truly. Just what you wanted after a day of traipsing around the countryside. Port-a-loos and a field with resident sheep poo.

And Snow, Snow was too busy grumbling to Bunce about the prospect of having to share a tent with Baz to actually help erect the tent he had to share with Baz. Which was again fine. Truly. Snow hated him, he hated Snow, even if there were moments when Baz wanted to grab him by the collar and kiss him until they were both breathless and dizzy, and if Snow wanted to be of no help whatsoever, then that was fine too. Baz managed to erect the tent faster than he probably would have if Snow had been around to help and he was already laying out his sleeping bag and contemplating crawling into it and never coming back out when Snow stomped over, probably spurred on by Bunce.

Snow looked as though he might have been about to say something nice or along the lines of gratitude when he entered the tent, with the look on his face seeming almost pleasant, prompting Baz to sneer at him, sparing both of them the awkwardness of the moment. Which was a shame. Baz would have liked to know if Simon was capable of saying anything nice to him, but that would be unchartered territory and would have meant that, for once, neither of them was being rude or vitriolic towards the other. And that was something that could not be allowed to happen.

Snow simply rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath before he dropped his rucksack down into his half of the tent, rolling his eyes as he noticed that Baz had divided the tent almost identically to the way that he’d spilt their shared room back at school. Each boy had half the tent, with Baz’s side being furthest from the door so that there would be no reason for Simon to get in his way. It didn’t stop Snow from trampling over the foot of his sleeping bag and kicking his rucksack as he struggled to set his own bed out, though. Snow was acting like a big, blundering dog and Baz was torn between mocking him or interceding and helping Simon with the waterproof liner his sleeping bag had been stowed away in. Snow’s struggle led Baz to believe that Bunce had packed it for him, and she’d been wise to.

On their practise expedition, around a particularly miserable patch of woodland in North Yorkshire, Snow’s bag hadn’t been closed correctly and, when the heavens opened on them, his sleeping bag and other belongings had ended up soaked.

It took another five minutes of Snow floundering for Baz to make up his mind, crawling out of his sleeping bag, taking the bag from Snow and unzipping the waterproof seal with minimal effort before he handed it back, earning a confused look from Snow for his trouble and scoffing in return, punctuating the gesture by saying, “It wasn’t that hard, Snow. Christ. You’d think it was difficult, unzipping a bag.”

Snow simply ignored him, overcompensating for his momentary struggle by shoving the liner into a corner of the tent and throwing his sleeping bag down, the clenching of his jaw the only other sign that Baz had gotten to him. Baz chose to up and leave then before he felt inclined to help Simon out any further, cramming his feet into his shoes and stomping off across the field to Dev and Niall’s tent only to find that Dev had walked sheep poo inside by accident and it was completely revolting. It did, however, give Baz the momentary idea of doing the same just to piss Snow off, though doing so would’ve meant that he’d’ve had to put up with the smell of shit all evening as well as Snow, which just wasn’t worth it. There were easier ways to push Snow’s buttons after all.

He did just that all evening, making snide comments whenever Snow even looking in his direction and sneering when he mentioned that his feet were sore from all the walking they’d done. Baz felt that it was perfectly justifiable, if somewhat petty of him, to say, “And who’s fault is that, Snow?”

Simon didn’t respond, looking through Baz as though he wasn’t there, turning back to his conversation with Bunce instead of retaliating unlike earlier. That was something he did more often than not these days, ever since he’d broken up with Wellbelove, and it drove Baz mad. He lived for getting a rise out of Snow, he enjoyed knowing that he got under his skin as much as Snow got under his, even if the only reaction he’d get was anger. It was still something.

Snow’s apathy didn’t stop Baz trying, though, and he kept it up, kept heckling him and generally being a git until even Dev and Niall grew bored, sloping off to their tent, leaving him sat around with Bunce and Snow, gathered around the shitty camping stove they’d tried heating their meals with, Trixie having sloped off earlier, mumbling something about an early night although Baz suspected she was really off to phone Keris again.

Bunce seemed more exasperated by Baz’s attempts at pissing off Snow than anything, as though she’d thought he was above that, and eventually grew bored of entertaining Snow as he sat around ignoring Baz, leaving to look at the maps and their route for the next day, staring at Snow as though she expected him to follow her. Though, that might not have been it. It wasn’t the look usually aimed at Simon, the kind of look most people reserved for a petulant and disobedient puppy, but was more one of concern. Maybe Bunce was just as surprised by Simon’s newfound ability to ignore Baz as Baz was.

It was grating on him. Snow was usually infuriating for different reasons but now he was pissing Baz of for all the wrong reasons. Snow going off on him was what he was used to; it was all he’d ever get from Simon, but now he didn’t even get that. If he’d known Simon’s feeble attempt at a fight earlier was the best he’d get, he’d have made the most of it.

Baz had fallen silent by the time Simon finally acknowledged him, finally given up and gone back to sneering silently, mulling over why he’d ever thought that the doing stupid Duke of Edinburgh’s scheme in the same group as Snow would ever be a good idea, though he hadn’t been able to come up with a reasonable answer. He hadn’t been able to come up with a reason as to why he was being such a git, either, though that was probably a culmination of Simon ignoring him and the fact that this, these last few months, were all he had left of the days of his and Snow’s simple feud.

It was true, really. In a few months, he and Snow would leave school, go to separate universities and Simon would just be the boy Baz had been pathetically obsessed with.

After a while, Baz made the decision to go back to their tent and hide away in his sleeping bag- definitely not sulking - standing up and taking the opportunity to admire the way the last of the sunset complimented Snow’s bronze curls before he muttered, “I’m going to bed.”

When he got no acknowledgement, Baz added, “Try not to get yourself lost on your way back.”

For some reason, that was the proverbial last straw, and Snow looked up at him, tired and angry and confused, for once not growling but still sort of…fierce as he asked, “Is it fun for you? Being such an arse, all the time?”

“Yes, Snow. It is, actually.” Simon’s question almost, almost threw Baz, and he hesitantly dropped back down into his spot, staring at Simon, waiting for him to get to his point. Simon was like that, all the time. Never able to get out what he wanted to say. It was annoying, or it would be if Baz didn’t find it quite so endearing. Not that that was something he’d ever admit. Instead, he found himself sighing, admitting something else instead. “No. But it’s better than simpering around you as everyone else does. Easier.”

Simon was raking his fingers through his hair, messing his curls in such a way that Baz was tempted to grab his hands and stop him from tangling them any further. “You don’t make it easy, you know. God- I. You don’t make it easy. One minute, you’re a git, always with that fucking sneer, and you’re making me cry the first day back after summer, but then you’re there and helping and- Whatever that was.”

“What are you saying, Snow?” Baz wasn’t following. At least, he wasn’t sure if he was following. It sounded a lot like Simon was saying something that Baz had dreamed of him saying, but he couldn’t be. Baz had to be misunderstanding him.

“You don’t make this easy. Penny doesn’t even understand why I like you. God knows, I don’t.” Simon sounded a lot less fierce then, seeming more desperate than anything as he stared at Baz, tugging at his hair again as he struggled to get his words out. “For ages, you’ve been doing this. You..Fuck. You get me all confused and no one understands and Agatha thinks it’s just a phase, even when I broke up with her. I…I like you, Baz. And you’re not going to understand, you hate me anyway and just forget it. Just forget it.”

“Simon…” Baz reached out for him, reaching to take Simon’s hand, rolling his eyes as Simon pulled away from him. “Forget it, Baz. Forget it. You…probably knew anyway. Agatha must have told you or…or whatever.”

The mention of Agatha made Baz roll his eyes again, sighing as he looked at Simon. The look of exasperation on his face did a decent job of disguising the disbelief rising up his spine, partly a result of everything Simon had just said and partly because Simon was still labouring under the belief that there the barest chance of anything happening between him and Wellbelove. Reaching out for him again, Baz took Simon’s hand, anchoring him down to earth as he said, “Simon, you’re being idiotic.”

Simon seemed so surprised by everything, Baz holding his hand, Baz not punching him, that he blinked a couple of times, the look of…desperation slowly being replaced by one of confusion as Baz repeated himself. “Snow, you’re being idiotic. I-.”

Instead of speaking, Baz slowly leant in to kiss Simon, only to be surprised as Simon kissed him first.

Simon Snow was kissing him.

The thought crossed Baz’s mind that he was living a charmed life and that Simon Snow was an incredible kisser and that he’d never done this before. Not with a boy, not with Simon. He’s kissing Simon Snow. If it weren’t for the fact that never, in any of the scenarios Baz had imagined this happening in, had he pictured kissing Simon Snow in a field in the middle of nowhere that smelled like sheep poo, he’d think he was imagining things.

Instead, Simon brought his hands up, cradling Baz’s face and running through his hair and it was all Baz could do to try and reciprocate. They were both breathless and grinning when they pulled away and Baz’s first thought was whether they could do that again.

Simon seemed to be of a similar frame of mind and he leant in to kiss Baz again, grinning into the kiss. It seemed unreal to him to be kissing Baz, but, at the same time, it felt like the most natural thing to do in the world, and Baz understood completely. Kissing Simon Snow is more than he'd ever thought he’d get and he clutched at the material of Snow’s hoody, pulling him closer.

He let go at some point, really only when he noticed how dark it had become, given that the sunset having long since disappeared and the clouds obscured what little moonlight there would otherwise have been. Truthfully, Baz was grateful for the darkness, it hid the blush that had taken over his features and the stupidly soft smile that he couldn't help.

They ended up back in their tent, though Baz wouldn’t have cared if they’d spent the whole night sat out there, his fingers linked with Simon’s as they stumbled up the field, clumsily unzipping their tent and collapsing on top of their sleeping bags, Baz lazily kicking his shoes off, still staring at Simon.

He didn’t think he’d ever stop staring at him.

Apparently, the last hour, or however long they’d spent out there, hadn’t assuaged Simon’s doubt about Baz, even though he’d kissed Simon until his mouth was sore, and Snow seemed to feel the need to put his foot in his mouth. “I didn’t know- I didn’t think you liked me. I thought you hated me. You’re not…I didn’t know you liked boys.”

Baz rolled his eyes at that and the sneer that crossed his features almost an involuntary response to Simon that he couldn’t help. He sighed, shuffling so that he was laid next to Simon, turning so that he was eye to eye with him, staring at him again as he tried to answer in a way that didn’t convey all of his frustration. “I do hate you. Doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I’ve…liked you for years, Snow. Don’t ruin this, or I’ll feed you to the sheep. And I do. Like boys. Could say the same about you, though. Didn’t know you were gay. What about Wellbelove?”

“I- I don’t know if I am. I don’t know what I am. I did- I did love her. Just…it never worked. There was always something. I think, in retrospect, it was you.” Simon closed his eyes, swallowing a couple of times before he opened them again, missing the brief pang of confusion that had flashed across Baz’s face. Baz was already filing away everything Snow had just said, storing it to be analysed and remembered and smiled over at a later date. His brief look of confusion returned when Simon asked, “Are you gay? Like. Just boys? You’ve never dated anyone, not at school, anyway, so how do you know?”

“Fucking hell, Snow…Yes. Just boys. And I just do.” Rolling his eyes again as Simon opened his mouth, obviously about to ask him again, Baz reached out for him, pulling Simon closer as he said, “Because of this, Snow.”

And he kissed Simon again, taking him by the back of the neck and letting the kiss last for as long as possible, raising an eyebrow at Simon as they pulled apart, as though he was asking if he was satisfied with that answer; smiling again as Simon pulled him in for another kiss.

They must have fallen asleep at some point as, when Baz woke, sunlight was visible through thin walls of the tent and Simon was visible in all his early morning glory. Baz disentangle himself from Simon, carefully crawling out of their tent and shoving his feet into his shoes, emerging to see Bunce and Trixie already up, packing their tent away as Dev and Niall sat eating, simply watching without bothering to help. Bunce stared at him, her head tilted to one side as she took in yesterday’s dishevelled t-shirt Baz was still wearing and the dark circles there had to be under his eyes, but she simply nodded at him and chose not to say anything.

Baz dropped into the space next to Dev and Niall, taking the cereal bar he was offered and smiling a little as he watched Simon eventually emerge from their tent. He schooled his expression when he realised that Dev and Niall were watching him, but he softened again when Simon sat in front of him, handing him a cereal bar from the packet at Dev’s feet and ignoring the protest and elbow to his ribcage that earned him.

He didn’t care, though. The small, surprised smile it earned made him smile in return, and he stored up the image of Snow smiling, actually smiling at him, saving it with all the others he’d earned in the last twelve hours, saving it for a proverbial rainy day. He let himself smile about that when he ducked into their tent, pulling on a clean t-shirt and walking trousers, switching his trainers for his walking boots and working very hard to wipe the smile off his face when he rejoined Dev and Niall.

Collapsing their tent was a bit of a palaver, given that Snow insisted on helping but had clearly relied far too much on Bunce for assistance with all the practise they’d done back at Watford, following Baz around and losing the bag the tent poles were supposed to go in, though Baz didn’t have it in him to sneer. Instead, he took the poles from Simon, tracked down the bag and deftly slotted them away, packing up the rest of the tent with minimal assistance from Simon after he disappeared off with Bunce, ostensibly discussing the route back to the train station.

The lack of sleep was beginning to wear on Baz by the time they actually started walking and he stopped paying attention to where they walking, instead following Simon, who was supposedly following Bunce’s directions, ignoring Dev and Niall and their griping and keeping his head down until they stopped for a drink, something about the moor they were stood on seeming a little too familiar.

Bunce simply shrugged, checking the map and double checking it before her face fell and she, along with Baz, Trixie, Dev and Niall, turned to face Simon. “Did we turn left leaving the village three miles back?”

“No. Right. You said right.” Simon shrugged, frowning as he looked around them, his face falling to mirror Bunce’s as he recognised where they were currently stood. “We were-“

“Here yesterday? Yes, Snow. When we were horribly lost. Well done. You’re not even in charge of the map and you still get us lost.” Baz let his tiredness and the ache in his feet speak for him, staring unapologetically at Simon and raising his chin defiantly as his words sank in, leaving Dev and Niall rolling their eyes whilst Trixie let out a surprisingly inventive string of swear words.

The only good thing about Snow’s ineptitude, Baz realised, was that they ended up trudging back through the wooden gate that they must have walked through at least five times over the duration of the expedition, and Baz took the opportunity to hang back, under the pretence of rearranging his rucksack to stop his shoes from poking him in the back, capturing Simon’s hand and keeping him behind from the others so that he could kiss Simon against it.

They ended up kissing until Trixie sauntered back, sent to look for them as they’d taken too long and Simon’s absence had worried Bunce, though she blushed and turned away when she realised she was interrupting, grinning at them as they hurried past her.

By some miracle, they made it back to the train station, again having walked far further than their original plan and Baz had never been gladder to cram into the aisle seats of the train, sitting next to Simon and linking their fingers together before he closed his eyes and fell asleep against Simon for most of the journey.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
